39M here. I'm married to my high school sweetheart and we have three little girls (8F, 6F, and 3F).

When our youngest was born, we couldn't make it to the hospital on time. My older brother (41F) was driving us and luckily is a doctor (although not the kind who delivers babies). However, he pulled over and delivered my daughter on the side of the highway. I will always be grateful to him for helping keep my wife calm and making sure both her and my daughter were safe. We actually named our youngest after him (Riley) because we were so appreciative that he was there to help.

My brother has always had a bit of a crude sense of humor. After he helped my wife give birth, he started joking about the fact that he's one of the few men who's seen and touched his sister-in-law's vagina. Sometimes he adds that he's that he's one of the few men who's seen his sister-in-law shit herself (this happened during the delivery). He brings up my wife's vagina anytime he's introducing her to someone new and at almost every family gathering. Once he even said my wife has a pretty vagina. Everyone else thinks it's funny, but it makes both my wife and myself uncomfortable. It would be one thing if he made the joke once or twice, but this comes up almost every time we see him. I want to stress that this really is just his sense of humor, and I don't think he means it in a creepy way towards my wife, but it has the effect of making her uncomfortable.

A few nights ago, we were at my parents' house for dinner. I was teasing my brother about something, and he said something along the lines of, "you're just jealous I've seen your wife's vagina." I told him the joke isn't funny, and to knock it off, because it's weird and makes me uncomfortable. The table got quiet, and my brother looked pissed.

Yesterday, I got a call from my brother's wife. She was furious. She said I was trying to humiliate my brother and hurt his reputation. I said I wasn't trying to do that, but I also am tired of hearing him make crude jokes about my wife. She said that having to see my wife's vagina made HIM uncomfortable at the time, but he did it because he wanted her and our daughter to be safe, and I was now weaponizing his generous act against him. She says I owe him an apology, but I don't feel I did anything wrong? Maybe I could have told him in private, instead of raising it in front of the whole family, that I didn't like the joke. But other than that, I think it's reasonable to ask him to stop making the same weird joke over and over again. Was I being too sensitive and AITA?