My wife was a bridesmaid in one of her close friend's weddings this weekend. She had been involved in the planning for months with dress fittings, rehearsals, group chats, and everything else. I was not involved at all. I figured if there was anything important I needed to know, she would let me know.

I got dressed in what I thought was appropriate and we headed to the wedding, but as soon as we got there, I realized something was wrong.

Every single man there was wearing a black tuxedo with a bow tie. Not just the groom and groomsmen. Every male guest. I was the only guy in a regular suit.

I felt totally out of place. A couple of people joked that I must have missed the memo. They probably did not mean anything by it, but it was still embarrassing. I stood out like a sore thumb.

I asked my wife if she knew everyone was supposed to be in tuxedos. She just said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I was busy helping with wedding prep."

That honestly made me feel even worse.

She had known about the dress code for a long time because she was in the bridal party and had been talking to the bride the whole time. If she had mentioned it, I would have rented a tux. Instead, I spent the whole night feeling self-conscious.

When we got home, I told her I was upset. She said I was making a big deal out of nothing because nobody cared what I was wearing and that I should just laugh it off.

I told her it was not really about the tux. It was about the fact that she knew, I did not, and she never thought to tell me. It would have taken five seconds to mention it, and it would have saved me from feeling embarrassed.

Now she thinks I am overreacting, but I feel like my frustration is justified.

AITA?

Edit: A lot of people have asked why I didn't check the invitation or ask about the dress code. That's a fair question. I assumed my wife would have mentioned something out of the ordinary since she was part of the bridal party and knew all the details. I also didn't think much of it because every wedding I have been to before, a suit was perfectly appropriate.

I take responsibility for not checking the invitation myself. My frustration isn't that I think it was entirely my wife's responsibility. It's that she knew every man was expected to wear a tux, knew I didn't know, and simply forgot to mention it. If the roles were reversed and I knew something that would have left her feeling out of place all evening, I would like to think I would have mentioned it to her. If she had mentioned it to me, I would have rented a tux without hesitation.

Husband (we will call Brad), and I have been together 2.5 years. Had our son in January. Things have been pretty great, but this had me feeling kind of...annoyed?

Brad is diagnosed with autism and ADHD, which can make communication between us challenging at times, but we do our best.

We live in Europe, NOT US.

Since Brad has AuDHD, he only works at 50%, the other half is covered by a health insurance here on a temporary basis, and every few months he has to keep applying for more. It is stressful, as we wait for him to hopefully get on a permanent coverage. Since this is so up in the air, instead of me taking a full year of mat leave, he took a majority of the days in case his temp health insurance is denied for some reason, then he can keep his work schedule at 50% and still get paid on the days he has off.

Which means I went back to work part time. I WFH as a private teacher. I choose my hours, since my students USUALLY live in different countries, I chose some in the afternoon when Brad is home with our son, and at nights, when my students would be awake and Brad is also home. I only have one student in the evening, 23:00 - 23:30 twice a week.

This is to help with some income, and we discussed this before I event went back to work. He had asked no students past midnight. So if Baby is having issues sleeping, he can take care of him and hopefully get him to sleep.

Well, Brad got back on a schedule where he wants to go to bed at 23:00...every night. We try to, but with a baby, sometimes...it just does not happen. Baby sometimes will stay asleep when I put him to bed (I nurse him to sleep), and sometimes he wakes up screaming.

Well, last night I told Brad I had my student at 23:00, and I would try to have Baby sleeping by then. He asked me, "What is your plan if Baby wakes up? My bedtime is 23:00, so hopefully you have thought of something."

I said, "Well, hopefully he stays asleep. If not, you will just have to take care of him, or put him on his play mat and entertain him."

He resolutely said, "Bedtime is 23:00, and I will go to bed."

Come 23:00, Baby is in bed, and Brad is just getting out of the shower. I guess he woke up moments after I started with my student, as when I came out of the office, he was walking around with Baby. I took him, nursed him back to sleep and went to bed also shortly after 23:30.

This morning, he was a bit annoyed with me. When I tried to hug him good-bye as he was leaving to work, he did not hug me back. We always do this before he leaves, so I said, "Are you upset with me still?"

He replied, "Yes, you crossed my boundry. My bedtime is 23:00. We disucssed this. I go to bed, and anything past that is your problem to solve if Baby wakes up."

He left for work...and I was just thinking...what??

I feel I need to have some discussion with Brad about this, but WIBTAH if I told him he has no more boundries with his sleep and he is being ridiculous?

EDIT: Update in comments/profile