My wife's friend was supposed to come watch fireworks with us tonight, but she just texted my wife that she isn't coming because I'm a nasty person who encourages my child to be rude and disrespectful. My wife and I just had a small argument about the situation that ended with her pulling a Big Lebowski on me and saying I don't have to be wrong to be an asshole. That's true, but I think her friend is the asshole, not me. I'll tell you what happened, and you decide for us.

My wife's friend was at our house for dinner. She's a teacher, and she complains about it a lot. She says the parents are impossible to deal with, the administration is not supportive, everyone has an opinion on curriculum and the kids don't listen. I include these complaints as context for the discussion. She told my wife she was working on her lesson plan for February and Black History Month and that she was making a fact sheet about Martin Luther King Jr for her kids.

Our son, who is a huge Star Trek fan, said that she should include the fact that MLKJ was a Star Trek fan. My wife's friend, with a very patronizing tone and expression I might add, said that maybe he would have been if he'd still been alive when it aired. My son said that he was, and that he used to watch it with his daughters. My wife's friend said that he died before the show aired. I told her she was wrong and my son was right. She said I was a perfect example of a parent that can't acknowledge when her child was wrong. I said no, you're a perfect example of a teacher that assumes she knows everything and can't connect with her students because she doesn't respect them.

My wife forced us all to change the topic. After dessert I pulled up a video on YouTube where Nichelle Nichols was discussing talking to MLKJ about Star Trek. I showed it to everyone. My wife's friend asked why I couldn't let the topic lie. I said I didn't want my son to feel like he was wrong for sharing facts he knows about his interests. My wife's friend said I don't know what it's like to be a teacher. I said I don't, but I know she's a bad one. She said I'd never seen her in the classroom. I said I didn't need to because I see how she is in her daily life, and people are who they are regardless of where they are.

So my wife's argument is I'm an asshole for bringing the topic back up after it was settled. She said I could have played the video for our son after her friend left and taught him about giving others grace and not needing external validation. I disagree and think it is important our kid knows we will always stand up for him. So am I an asshole?

A lot of men seem genuinely confused about why dating feels harder for them, while loudly aligning with politics that undermine women’s rights and autonomy.

That disconnect is the problem.

For most women, politics aren’t just opinions, they’re a reflection of values and empathy. When someone supports movements that trivialize women’s safety or agency, it’s not surprising that women lose interest. That isn’t intolerance. It’s discernment.

A teaspoon of perspective would solve so much of this. Just stopping to ask, “How does this affect women?” before doubling down would change their entire social reality.

Instead, they choose grievance and then act confused when no one wants to date them.

My (29M) girlfriend (27F) of 3 years had her birthday yesterday and I wanted to surprise her by waking her up to bed in breakfast on her birthday. For some background, she has always been somewhat of a picky eater in the sense that she will try things but if it doesnt blow her mind or make her happy/excited to eat it then she wont finish it. Caused some problems in the beginning of our relationship when I was still trying to hone my cooking skills for her since neither of us knew how to cook. Nowadays I obviously have adjusted to her palate, gotten much better, and havent had issues since the beginning.

Flash forward to yesterday for her bday, i decided to make breakfast burritos with sides of egg, hashbrowns, sausage and bacon. Ive made it for her in the past and she says its one of her favorite things I make for her, so I had no stress whatsoever. That was all until i started making the eggs and realized we only had 2% milk in the house (she likes whole milk because it makes the eggs creamier). I was already halfway through cooking and didnt want to involve her and ruin the surprise so I just used 2% milk instead thinking it wouldnt be a big difference for her. I was incredibly wrong.

I lit some scented candles she loves, put on our favorite show, and gave her her plate of food. She was so excited for a moment but then she paused and asked me "Did you have to run out and get whole milk? Because I noticed we ran out the other day. And you need whole milk for eggs" so I told her no and that I just used 2% because I couldnt stop halfway through to run out for 30 minutes to get milk. She just sighed and started tearing up because she couldn't eat anything with the eggs in it then. She said that she tried 2% milk eggs once when she was little and didnt like it. So she felt disappointed now and only ate the hashbrowns and meat. I begged her to at least try a bite of the burrito to see if she likes it because I really didnt want to start her bday off on a bad note, but she refused and wouldnt even try the burrito since it had egg. It annoyed me that she wouldnt even try it but I srayed calm and didnt want to make things worse.

We moved on from it and i focused on keeping her happy for the rest of her bday, and things went well until we were leaving her parents house when she said something along the lines of "Im glad we got to see you guys and thank you dad for cooking dinner, because I need at least one guy in my life that knows how to cook good food". And trust me, the tone was not playful and she was staring straight at me with a serious face when she said it. It caught me so offguard and immediately frustrated me, so we got in a fight during the drive home and barely spoke the rest of the night. I feel terrible since it was her bday, but I genuinely dont feel like I did anything that wrong. I made a mistake with the eggs, but she was the one who brought it up to make me look bad and make it a big deal. Am I the AH?

Flash forward to 2025…now it seems everyone is a baby snowflake little bitch offended by Nazis being portrayed as bad guys when it’s been literal facts that they’ve been the bad guys for nearly 100 years. Should we change all shows now and portray the bad guys as good guys for your wittle feewlings?

The media didn’t change, YOU did. You got radicalized within a decade by a conman buffoon who only wanted your vote and wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire. Nazism is a very dangerous choice and always has severe consequences for the people who believe in it. You absolutely have the freedom to be a pos, but it comes with consequences every single time.

Edit: this post TRIGGERED some of you and i didn’t even call anyone nazis. The amount of triggered snowflakes are crazy! 😂😵‍💫

My wife and I had our son 4 months ago. We had a name chosen early in her pregnancy. We kept that name to ourselves but my SIL (married to my brother) found it out when she was still pregnant with my nephew (almost 7 months old). She never said how. She just told us she loved the name, congrats and she couldn't wait to meet him. We assume she snooped because she was not told. I even mentioned it to my brother and he said that his wife does like to browse through people's things like it was no biggie.

Then when my nephew was born they announced his name and it was the name we chose. First, middle and last name. My brother called right after SIL posted the announcement and he told me to keep quiet because his wife had a rough birth and she didn't need drama and he knew we might not like it but she really wanted the name.

Her reason? My brother and I have matching twin-like names and SIL wanted to connect our two boys by just giving them the same name so they were each other's namesake.

My wife and I talked it over and we decided to pick a different name. But we'd pretend to keep the original name until there was zero risk of SIL changing my nephew's name (6 months after a birth is harder to make a change in our state).

We only started telling people the true name last week. My parents and sisters said it made sense. Friends and my ILs understood why we did it. My brother told me I upset his wife by silently doing this shit and taking away her choice to match the boys. He told me it was a dick move. I told him his wife using the full name we chose was a dick move.

I asked him if he considered how much tougher it would be with both boys enrolled in the same schools with the very same name. Not to mention banking, doctors, dental all kinds of stuff. He told me plenty of people have the same name and it's not a big deal and it's harder to mix shit up now and we're just trying to gatekeep names.

I think he's cray. So does my wife. She said he clearly doesn't want SIL to be mad. But AITA for what I did? Like are we weird for thinking of this kind of stuff?

My ( F34) boyfriend ( Charles M38)and I celebrate our birthdays together. This year, I contributed a small private room at a restaurant, and we invited 11 people. 4 of them are my local friends. The rest are his family members. I wanted to celebrate a new achievement in my career and thought it would be great to just splurge a little and get some delicious food. So we had access to the menu, drinks and our cake. I had agreed to pay for ½ of the food aside from having rented the small space myself. The space was paid for in advance, the food at the end ( as in any restaurant).

We had issues last year because I felt that he was doing low effort things while I always did my best to give him a nice birthday celebration. We have an income gap, but it wasn't even about money. I was making less money last year, and I still made things work for him.

So this year, he took care of inviting people, paid for the cake, and got me a spice rack as a present (which I loved).

I made myself pretty, got my eyebrows and eyelashes done, and had my hair done. We were told to pose and pretend to blow the candles ( because I didn't want to blow our germs on the cake). Then we each had a picture alone with the cake. When it was my turn, I was holding the cake when he pushed my face towards the cake, so I tried to fight it. His family started cheering, and he arched over my body and forced me to bend over until my face smashed the cake. My friends tried to get him off me, and he resorted to plastering cake and frosting on my hair. I don't need to describe the mess because I'll never be able to end this post, but I ended up slapping him when he attempted to do it again. His mother got up, and she got into an argument with one of my guests. I had to cross the main floor with cake all over my face to use the restroom. When I looked in the mirror, I had cake on my neck, and my blouse had red and blue coloring that didn't come off. I had to wash my face and got my hair in a bun because it looked less messy that way.

When I came back, his family were all long faces. I told him what he did was unacceptable, and he said it was just a joke, that everybody has done that for ages and that me slapping him just ruined my image in front of his family. I started crying and gathered all my stuff to leave. I notified him that he should pay for himself and his guests. My friends insisted on paying for their own food, but I refused, and we ended the night right there. My friends wanted to treat me to having dinner elsewhere, but I wasn't comfortable with my appearance. They ended up sending me the money that I spent, and that broke my heart.

Charles had to pay for ½ of the remaining bill and got charged a cleaning fee. I still love him, but I'm clear that I'll never be able to forgive him. We talked about it, and I ended things. He's convinced that I never loved him. He acknowledged what he did was wrong but is adamant that his family hates me for slapping him and that it's my fault. I told him that he ruined not only our birthday but also my way to celebrate my career milestone. I've worked very hard to get to where I am and that his behavior showed me what my future will look like. And that I'm sorry to say it, but he was so aggressive and so focused on making his family laugh at my expense that I just realized he's not good enough and that I've lost my confidence to be seen with him in public, because I don't know what else he will pull out of his ass.

He says he paid for that cake, that he's not saying that it was okay to smash it, but it's not like I paid for everything. He wanted me to apologize to his mom, but I refused.

Important: I'm not proud of my reaction. We've never had any physical altercations. He says his mother feels humiliated because of what I did and that she has been struggling with mild depression for years ( I didn't know), and I came off as violent.

AITA for refusing? I already blocked him.

Edit: his guests paid for the other half of his bill after being told they needed not pay for anything.

Throwaway account. This happened this morning, and I’m so upset I don’t know what to do.

I (36M) have been with my fiancée (33F) for three years. I have a 10 year old daughter from my previous marriage. Her mother passed away when she was 2.5. My fiancée is currently pregnant.

Yesterday, my daughter asked me to buy a giant cupcake from a bakery near my work. She wanted to take it to school to surprise her friend for their birthday. I also bought an extra cupcake for my fiancée. She devoured hers right away.

My daughter was really excited and put a nice ribbon around the box before leaving it in the fridge to take to school in the morning. Apparently, my fiancée craved it in the middle of the night and ate the other cupcake.

This morning, my daughter woke up to a big disappointing surprise. She started crying and screaming. I asked my fiancée why she did that, and she said her craving was so bad she couldn’t sleep. Then she yelled, “It’s called being pregnant, jerks!”

My daughter screamed that she hates her and the baby already. I told her, “I’ll buy another one today and maybe drop it off so you can give it to your friend after school?” She said, “Don’t bother.”

Later, my fiancée texted me saying she’s upset that I didn’t stand up for her when my daughter was mean and that my daughter and I owe her an apology.

I’m sitting in my car wondering what the hell to do. Was I an asshole for not standing up for her? I feel lost

I (26F) just started at a new job. I quickly realized that one of my colleagues, “Marie” is engaged and is getting married within the next 2 months. It seemed like the whole office was attending the wedding. I absolutely did not expect an invite. She just met me, weddings are planned in advance, venues booked, etc. My friend actually just got married so I saw first hand how it all worked. I could tell Marie wondered if I was expecting an invitation and was hesitant to bring up the wedding around me, but I just never made it a big deal. I don’t feel left out in the slightest.

Then, I got CC’d on an e-mail from someone that the office, Joan, throwing Marie a shower during our lunch hour in the breakroom in a couple of weeks. Joan was sending out a collection so we could give a group gift (cash) to Marie. They also suggested we make it a potluck. Joan included her Venmo and also asked we e-mail back with what we planned on bringing. Even if I’m not going to the wedding, I still believe everyone deserves to be celebrated and Venmo’d the $20, as well as sent a reply saying I’d bring lasagna.

A little later, I saw the $20 had been returned to my Venmo and Joan approached my desk. She said I didn’t need to contribute. I said even if I’m not attending the wedding, I’d still like to give Marie a little something. Joan looked a little awkward and hemmed and hawed but then eventually said “You’re not invited to the shower”. I was confused. I said “I can’t go in the company breakroom on lunch hour?” She said yes. I asked where am I supposed to go? I don’t drive (I take public transit to/from work), we don’t really work near anywhere I could go to quickly for our lunch hour. She said I could stay at my desk. I pointed out this was a little exclusionary. Joan said Marie didn’t want me to assume I was invited to the wedding. I said I don’t at all. I completely understand I haven’t worked here long and we’re not close enough. I’m not hurt by that. She said that’s great, but I still can’t come. I asked if I had done anything to offend Marie and she said no. She just doesn’t want me “getting my hopes up”. I finally let it go and just said fine, have a good party. The day of the shower, I sat at my desk during the party while everyone else went, eating my lunch alone. One kind person snuck me a piece of cake.

Halfway through the party, the “big boss” came in. She usually doesn’t work on Fridays, so it was a surprise to see her. She saw me sitting at my desk and asked why I wasn’t at the party. I told her I hadn’t been invited. She was clearly perturbed by this. Later on, she sent an e-mail out banning parties of any kind during work hours. A few people, Joan and Marie included, realize I’m the one who told. They’ve now turned on me.

Some friends say I’m in the wrong here and that I should’ve lied to the big boss and said I was busy with work to finish or something, so as not to ruin it for everyone else. AITA?

I (18F) have been dating my bf, C (19M) for about two years. Our relationship is usually pretty good, but recently we had this really weird conflict where I feel like I'm being gaslighted into feeling like the villain. The other day, me and C were at his house, watching tv, and then he suddenly asked me. "Would you still date me if I was trans?" I am 100% a cishet girl, and although I am an ally, I wouldn't date a trans-girl, even if she was my SO before the transition. I told him something along the lines of "No, because I'm not attracted to women" Then he got really weird and angry. He started talking about how it shouldn't matter what gender he was because I loved him and we have been dating for a long time. Then he called me transphobic. I was really taken aback by this attack because of a hypothetical statement, so I told him it wasn't transphobic to not want to date someone of a gender you're not attracted to. Then I asked im why he was getting his pages in a bunch because of this weird scenario. He told me to leave the house. That was 4 days ago and now although the typical Redditor scenario of his grandma's dog texted us ranting or something didn't happen, our friends have asked us what's going on because they know something happened. I feel bad because he genuinely thought I was being an arsehole for my answers even though I thought they were respectful to the trans community. AITAH?

UPDATE: Idk if many of you will see this, but I called my boyfriend and asked him about the question. He said recently he had been "rethinking his gender" (his own words). I said that, although I would be there for him obviously, I wouldn't be attracted to him physically if he decided to transition. I'm trying to help him through it but we both thought because of our answers we should probably break up. He apologised to me for calling me transphobic and the other stuff. Also, I have been seeing transphobic comments on this post and I'd like to clarify: Transphobia is never ok.

I (42M) have two biological children, Anna (16F) and Jake (14M), from my first marriage. When their mother passed away, she left them a substantial inheritance, which I’ve carefully managed in trust funds for their future education and other needs. My late wife and I always prioritized their future, and this money is meant to support their goals, whether that’s college, starting a business, or something else they dream of.

A few years ago, I married my current wife (39F), who has two kids from her previous marriage, Ethan (15M) and Sophie (12F). I love my stepchildren and treat them with the same care and respect as my own, but their father is still in their lives and provides financial support. While I contribute to their day-to-day needs, my wife and I never discussed blending the finances meant specifically for Anna and Jake.

Recently, my wife brought up the idea of using some of Anna and Jake’s trust funds to help with Ethan and Sophie’s upcoming expenses, such as extracurricular activities and potential college savings. She argued that it’s unfair for my biological kids to have such a financial advantage while her children don’t. She believes that as a family, we should pool resources equally for all the kids.

I told her that I couldn’t do that. The trust funds were set up solely for Anna and Jake, and I don’t think it’s right to take money from them that their late mother intended for their future. I offered to work with her to find other ways to save for Ethan and Sophie, but she was upset, accusing me of playing favorites and not fully accepting her kids as part of the family.

The argument escalated when her parents got involved, suggesting I was being selfish and that it’s my responsibility to treat all the children equally. Now, even Anna and Jake are aware of the situation and feel awkward, worrying that they’re being resented by their stepfamily.

I feel torn because I love my stepkids and want them to succeed, but I also want to honor the intentions behind the money their mother left for them. So, AITA for refusing to share my biological kids’ funds with my stepchildren?